Hopeless

I needed his lips, I wanted to feel them on me, kissing me and I missed them, I missed him.  I was away for a short time, away in my sorrow and heartache, by myself at that lone, tourist filled hotel.  I cried most of the time with anger and hate flowing through my tears.  My phone continuously ringing displaying the nickname I gave him so long ago.  My anger would not allow me to answer the phone, but my love deep down inside wanted to reach for him.  I hated him at that moment, but I missed him.  My emotions, so up and down, I was so confused, I hated him but I loved him, I missed him, I answer the phone.  His voice arrests me for a moment before my rage took over.  I asked hate filled questions about her, about what they did, when.. where.. why.  I get off the phone only for him to call back and it is repeated- again and again.  My yearning for him grows, I was away too long, I could not be away any longer. 

Our reconnection begins that late September night upon my return.  He holds me close and I allow him.  He lays me down gently and I want to be closer.  He kisses me softly and I wanted more.  Our emotional, physical attraction intensifies as I embrace his every move on my body.  Soon after he holds me closer and I cry, tears of reconciliation and tenderness.  So many thoughts clouding my mind as I try to find understanding and acceptance, I am desperate for strength to move forward.  How are we going to get through this?